Being and Nothingness
by Maria Krause
Summary: Hisayo Mei, a weapon crafter and herbalist living just outside of Konoha encounters her old friend/crush, Itachi Uchiha.She might just be useful to Akatsuki but due to unexpected circumstances, he lets his feelings get in the way.


"_Itachi-oniichan!" the girl yelled as she ran along the deserted path._

"_Mei, let's go back home," a brown haired man insisted. He smelled the blood drifting through the night air. He knew the source of it and he didn't want his little sister to wander through the Uchiha domain at a time like that._

"_No! I have to show this to Onii-chan…" Her black eyes were filled with sadness and some sort of disappointment. She knew that something was not right: the place was too silent. Until she heard a scream. "Sasuke-kun…" With a speed that her brother never thought Mei capable of, the girl dashed in the direction. Ichiro would have given both his hands to keep his sister away from that particular scene._

"_Itachi…oniichan…," she whispered, shocked. The Uchiha ANBU was obviously torturing his little brother and his sword was full of blood. Mei cried. Itachi's eyes darted immediately to the figure behind her. He glared silently at Ichiro; the latter could only look away and clench his fists, hoping telepathy would work, somehow._

_Mei was smart, smarter than all the other girls her age. She understood why her surroundings were silent, why Itachi's sword was filthy…The older Uchiha began walking away, past the little girl whose face expressed the utmost sorrow. "I hate you!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. Itachi stopped mid-step. "Why would you do something like this? I thought…" The poor girl was struggling to speak in between hiccups and tears. "I thought…you were a really cool and good guy…That's why…I…liked you… so much…" In an attempt to seem more composed, she wiped her soaked cheeks. "But now, now after I've seen your true colours, I hate you! I despise you, I _loathe_ you! Never, ever come back again!"_

_She sprinted towards him but Ichiro caught her before she could even reach his shadow. "I know," Itachi whispered before vanishing in the darkness._

Another restless night for the red haired young woman. Mei wiped her forehead with the back of her hand, before pulling her waist long, rebel locks into a messy bun. _Maybe it's a sign_, she thought. It had been quite a long while since she had last had that dream. _A sign that I'll see him soon_. She shivered. She didn't want to. As a child, she had developed a huge crush on the older Uchiha sibling but as she grew, she hoped that she had put childish things out.

Seemingly, that wasn't the case. Ever since he left on that fateful night, Mei would always look outside the window of her workshop, which was oriented in the opposite direction of the village gate, hoping a dark figure would emerge from the shadows and come explain everything to her. Maybe part of her omnipresent inner feeling of nothingness was caused by the way he left her life. By the sheer fact that he'd never come back, not for good, not willingly…not as a hero.

_I've dreamt him a couple of years ago…_, Mei remembered, _after Orochimaru's invasion. Then I see Sasuke in the hospital because of him_. She smoothed out her black tank top which she slept in and walked to the kitchen. She poured herself a cup of cold linden tea and rested her elbows on the window sill. The kitchen was a narrow room, with a large window on the back wall and covered in cupboards on the lateral walls. A refrigerator, an oven and a sink were also timidly occupying some space. You could find all kinds of tea in Mei's cupboards, with the occasional poison vial hidden here and there. It was her job—toying with plants of all sorts: toxic, herbal, sweet, sour, stinky, perfumed. And she loved it.

She could spend days in a row studying plants, their leaves and flowers, the soil in which they grow, the 'food' that they prefer. A smile made its way across her lips slowly as she marveled at the forest washed in silver moonlight. The emerald green was sparkling thanks to recent drops of rain. It was magical, all shades of green creating a splendid background for the thin particles of dust waltzing under the shiny beam.

There were no sounds, except for a few owl cries. The peace of the night settled within Mei's being, until a malicious force scared all the birds away; their whines pierced the poor girl's heart, causing its beats to increase tenfold. Her eyes grew big in shock and fear…A dark figure stepped out of the shadows, dangerously approaching the cottage. Mei snapped out of her trance and leapt to the closest cabinet. Her slender fingers circled around a very small bottle and a cold handle. She produced simultaneously a vial of poison and a tantō from the back of the cupboard then strode towards the door.

The previously mentioned figure blocked her way. Her thin brows came together in a frown as she backed away. Instinctively, her right hand launched the glass vial forward whilst her stretched out left arm, holding the tantō, sliced it in half. In the spur of the moment, she jumped through the window, although she was wearing just a tank top and a pair of black boxer shorts.

The shards of glass cut her skin and the pebbles hurt her feet but she couldn't have cared less. Ichiro was on a mission; her only source of help left was the village. Unfortunately, the kitchen window was oriented in the opposite direction and she was running forward. If she turned back, he'd catch her and only God knew that villain's plans.

"Where are you going, little lady, dressed like that?" A voice caused her to stop. She could feel her frenzied heartbeats in her ears, not mentioning her heavy breathing. Mei tightened the grip on her short katana, as it was her only denfence.

A devilish, crooked grin attached to a blue face was revealed as the wind carried the storm clouds away. That tall man was owning a much larger sword than hers, which made her feel silly and, at the same time, more endangered. "Yo, Itachi-san, I thought I didn't have to intervene."

"You don't," a cold, monotonous voice replied. Milliseconds later, her conscience was drifting through thick waves of darkness.

Mei didn't know for how long she had been sleeping but she was grateful for that bucket of water thrown at her face—a hell lot. She kept her eyes tightly shut, refusing to open them. She felt a kick in her side and fortunately didn't hear anything break. "Wake up!" a raging voice shouted. Mei bothered to slightly open her eyes, only to see the blue face hovering over her. He grabbed her hair, pulling her up in a sitting position.

The young woman rubbed the sleep out of her eyes as a sharp pain shoot through her body, from head to toe. "Gee, thanks for _gently_ nudging me awake…," she muttered with a yawn. The pain in her limbs prevented her from stretching out her arms.

"Cut it already," the man spoke. "What have you done to him?" he inquired furiously. Mei innocently raised an eyebrow at him. He grabbed her hair again and whipped her around. She landed on all fours, looking down on a familiar face. Itachi's face. Her countenance froze, her eyes could only see the beads of sweat on his forehead and his facial muscles tensed in pain. She brought her hand to his hot cheek and ran her thumb along his parted lips. He was alive, she could feel warm air pass by her finger.

"Cold water. And plants. I need plants. You," she spun around, glaring at the blue man. "Bring me as much cold water as you can. I'll have my clone pick up the plants." Kisame eyed her curiously. "What are you waiting for? Do you want him to die?" After glancing one last time at his partner, Kisame left as Mei was taking Itachi's shirt off. Then, she made a couple of hand signs and a shadow clone appeared. It was actually the only ninjutsu technique Mei was capable of besides some baisc medical jutsu.

Due to the lack of physical strength and her small amount of chakra, Mei felt tired already. She wrapped herself in the black cloak and leant against a wall, attempting to steady her breathing. _Focus_, she urged herself, _focus on building up more chakra_. She brought her hands together and crossed her legs Indian style, while inhaling and exhaling large amounts of air.

Mei closed her eyes so she couldn't see that Itachi was looking at her. For a moment, he thought he was raving: the Mei he knew was a spoiled child not a lean woman. But then, he remembered how she threw that liquid at him, how she jumped through the window…and how he, after hours of walking, felt really dizzy and disorientated. The confused state culminated with difficulty in breathing, high fever and fainting. Itachi was curious whether she was affected by it as well or not.

Straining himself, he propped on his elbows but collapsed back down with a groan. Itachi had no idea what that poison was doing to him—it apparently weakened his muscles, all of them. And it must have entered his body through the respiratory system, he had no open wounds. He tried once again to sit up but his effort was fruitless. Mei's eyes snapped open as she heard the change in his breathing pattern.

Worried, she crawled over in a hurry, although a painful shock pierced her bone marrow. His hooded eyes bore into her teared up ones. _Why? Why is she so sad? She should…be hating me…Now, more than ever_, Itachi wondered. "Man, shame on you. You're one hell of a prodigy," Mei uttered sarcastically. Itachi smiled; he wouldn't have, normally, but he couldn't bite it back. Mei chuckled softly, caressing his cheek with her hand. His hot breath caressed her lips in return and she bent over to rest her forehead against his.

"Ahem," Kisame cleared his throat, standing at the entrance in the cave. The shadow he cast caught Mei's attention, instead of the noise. The blue man was holding a bucket of water in one hand and some sort of white suitcase in the other.

"Kisame…," Itachi whispered tiredly. He placed his hand over Mei's and held it with as much force as he could. He didn't want his partner to hurt her more than she already was.

"Oh, so that's your name," Mei stated, glancing at her and Itachi's entwined fingers.

"Here you have the cold water," Kisame placed the bucket on the floor next to her, "and this is a medical kit I stole from an inn around here." Mei freed her hand carefully and opened the white suitcase. She put on the rubber gloves and grabbed a handful of bandages which she dipped in the water. She spread them across Itachi's chest and put some on his forehead as well.

Her clone was back minutes later, carrying a large leaf covered in various other leaves and colourful flowers. Mei took over the load as the clone vanished in a cloud of smoke. Her stomach went ahead of her and growled before she could say anything. "I'm hungry," Mei told Kisame, "and I'm sure he is as well," she nodded in Itachi's direction. "Go bring us food," she demanded as she switched her attention to the plants. Kisame was just about to snap back at her but the look Itachi gave him prevented him from doing so. He had no choice but to leave without saying a word.

The cold bandages cooled his body down a little but Itachi felt that it wasn't enough. His mind became more clouded, he could barely think properly any more. He watched as Mei was sorting the plants and grabbed various tools from the medical kit. "Sorry, but I don't have the strength to pin you down at the moment," she told him, while she was filling a syringe. The silver needle pierced his vein slowly; Itachi was too weak to even feel the slightest pain. After dipping the bandages into cold water once again, Mei resumed her work on the plants.

Itachi was in some kind of trance which didn't allow him to move at all. His body felt heavier and he couldn't keep his eyes open any more. So he gave in to this vegetable state, deciding some sleep wouldn't hurt. Despite of all those, he couldn't drift into unconsciousness. Instead, he meditated on his feelings…At first, nothing came to his mind. Then memories flooded it. The night when he slaughtered his clan brought along numerous emotions; words could not describe them.

The image of Sasuke's face was followed by Mei's. A tinge of guilt and sadness stung his chest but it was nothing compared to the upcoming physical pain. He clenched his fists and shut his eyes tightly. Was Mei doing that to him? Was she taking her revenge? He wanted to scream, to kick and punch…But his body wouldn't react to his commands. A strange peace of mind settled over his brain. _I deserve it…I deserve so much more than this…_ He then had a sudden change of heart. He couldn't die without fulfilling his purpose; he couldn't die without sending Mei away to a safe place.

Itachi felt as if a huge weight was taken off his chest. He could breathe easier and his heart was beating at a steady pace, unlike before. His limbs were also freed from an iron grip. His eyes snapped open as his hand grabbed Mei's wrist. The girl gave him confused and rather scared looks. The hand he was holding was close to his mouth. Itachi struggled to raise his head and see the contents of the small container resting in her palm.

"Calm down, I'm not going to hurt you," she assured him in a low voice. He forced himself up in a sitting position and, seeing there was no way she'd convince him to lie back down, Mei helped him lean against the rough stone wall of the cave. "You shouldn't strain your muscles like this, I'm not done healing you yet…"

Still, she was surprised. She had just managed to remove most of the poison from his body and had even anaesthetized him, in spite of which he succeeded to sit up. "I guess you _are_ a prodigy…," Mei muttered to herself, checking his temperature. "Drink this," she instructed, bringing the container close to his mouth again. He sniffed its contents before gulping it all down at once.

Mei crouched next to him, resting her head on his shoulder and at the same time, supporting him somewhat. She thought about what she was going to do. Stay with him and let herself be taken to wherever he wanted? In spite of the obvious danger? She felt his arm curl around her waist. She finally had the chance to be with him, to share her thoughts and feelings with him, her pain, her love, her happiness, her depression…

"Itachi," she began, looking up in his eyes. He gazed back, his coal orbs empty of any emotion. Something inside her died. He was there, he was holding her in his arms, yet…there was nothing. How could that be? She stretched her arm over his torso, returning the hug. His free hand stroked her hair; he closed his eyes, placing a kiss on the top of her head. Mei lifted her face at the same level with his, before she captured his lips in a fierce, passionate kiss.

She felt nothingness mingle with her being, she kissed him then but she never would again. He responded to her kiss but didn't put his heart into it. She pulled away, laughing bitterly. She wiped her eyes with her slender fingers, standing up.

Itachi didn't know what was going on inside of him any more. He restrained his feelings, burying them in the pit of his soul, together with his other painful memories. "Go," he instructed her. Mei stared at her in pure shock.

"What?" she whispered, "You have kidnapped me just to let me go?" She knew she wouldn't have another chance like that again but didn't want to leave his side so soon.

"Just go," he repeated, just as Mei glanced up at the newly cast shadow; Kisame had returned. Itachi glared at his partner who was glaring at Mei.

"Itachi, are you out of your mind? Sasori will go out of his mind, besides Leader agreed with his idea. If we return without her—"

"Kisame," Itachi cut him off. "Go," he ordered once again, not daring to meet Mei's gaze. She stepped back slowly, bent over to grab her tantō and dashed past Kisame, stealing his bag of food in the process. She ran forward through the trees; her feet hurt, she had no idea which way to go, her stomach growled. She was still wearing Itachi's cloak and was going to treasure it as her most precious possession.

Mei tightened her grip on the handle of her homemade sword; her being was filled with nothingness, such a paradox. But she knew she wouldn't be able to restore the contents of her heart, no matter how hard she would try.


End file.
